Mario’s nipples are, surprisingly, a subject of great debate. Every year, Nintendo has posted a nice, summery render of our plumber boy at the beach, and this year is no different. But when Mario’s at the beach, and not at work, he trades in his overalls for swimming trunks — and that means this is the only time that we see him topless.
In 2020, Nintendo decided (for whatever reason) to excise poor Mario’s nips, presumably out of some Nintendo-esque need to PROTECT THE CHILDREN from the horrors of thinking that Mario is mammalian. The internet, not to be outdone, decided that this was weirder than just letting Mario have nipples in the first place, and so in 2021, Nintendo put them back where they belong.
We know that all summer this year, you’ve probably been wondering if Mario is nippled or nip-less this year. It’s a bit like waiting to see the color of the smoke that announces whether there’s a new Pope. So we’re glad to tell you all that Mario still has his nips firmly in place for 2022:
The tweet, though, contains a typo (“you” instead of “your”) so it might get taken down. Here’s the image, so you can always appreciate our favorite mammary-possessing plumber: